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I’m Never Going to Win

I’m never going to win. I’m not going to put the flag down and claim the land. I’m not gonna have my name screamed through the clouds. That’ll never happen because I follow Christ. He is the commander. It’s not my win. I’m never going to win. Going after things in my life like love, work, duty and just meaning… I get lost in the super competitive suggestive nature of the western culture I live in.

I’ve too long been focused on the top of the hill while losing much sight on the base. Thinking of…

"There was once a woman who lived in a village. She went out to the mountains to gather herbs to bring back to make some medicines or salves that could save and ease lives. But when she arrived to the mountains, she gathered herbs and flowers along the way towards the top of one of the peaks. Upon reaching the peak, she returned to the village."

My point in this story is that if she just focused hard on getting to the top of the peak, she would’ve missed on what was necessary and more useful in her journey. I guess I’m typing this because it’s something I need to remind myself of. I need to do the small things. Notice the journey. I have my ambitious goals but I get lost in how to get there. And get too concerned with “winning”. I have long learned of this in playing games. I just have fun. Winning doesn’t matter as much. My goal of fun is achieved… But other parts of my life? Not so much.

The battle’s won and the win is not mine. It never will be. But I do hold a sword and the King’s banner. Humbled and ready I need to be. I want to say I will be.

I’m never going to win and that’s how it should be.


The legend, written in Akkadian, describes how Ishtar, goddess of sexuality and warfare, went to the Underworld. Ishtar decided to undertake the journey, although the Underworld was known as the ‘land of no return’ for humans and gods alike. On the way down she passes through seven doorways and each time the gatekeeper removes from her the symbols and clothes of her divinity. Eventually Ishtar comes face to face with Erishkigal, the goddess of death, and collapses. All sexual activity stops on earth. The gods are distraught and Ea, god of wisdom, creates an impotent boy who is attractive to Erishkigal. He manages to persuade Erishkigal to have Ishtar sprinkled with the waters of life and revived. Ishtar passes back through the seven doors, and regains her clothing and attributes. 

Neo-Assyrian era, 7th century BCE, from Nineveh, northern Iraq, part of the library of King Ashurbanipal, 669-631 BCE. (The British Museum, London).

biglb asked:

How do you feel about the violence and coarse language that is rampant in video games today? Do you think it needs to change?

Well, first off… Violence and Coarse language are very different things in video games. One is at the core of gameplay, the other only provides world building / ambience. For coarse language I feel at many times it’s unnecessary but could be used to reenforce themes within an established setting. So yes, it could change. Needs to? I haven’t seen it becoming a huge issue with many games. But with violence, it’s much deeper. So I’ll address that more.

It is a certainty that Violence is very prevalent in video games. Since the very first games, there were combat elements. There is something very, for a lack of better words, visceral about combat in much so that it stops being about the violence. There is the primal grunt-inducing reaction of killing (virtual things). But it is also about the act, patterns, logical workings, competitiveness and more. We see this in sports. Some sports like MMA and Boxing make it very obvious. But there is a lot to the act of moving, counter moving, and use of techniques and much more. 

With games, you could simulate safe environments where that could be exercised. And there’s a lot of excitement in it. It’s just fun. It’s a bit akin to dancing, but more accessible in some ways. Let’s take a quick look at dancing, especially with a partner. You move and the other person has to act. You could change it up and if they’re in it with you, they will react with their own known moves and techniques. It becomes something more. Something better. Even to the point that a game like Devil May Cry (series) feels a lot like dancing in the logic (decision making) and mental state of dancing, where you’re moving from move to move… It’s just that things die around the player.. But unlike dancing, video game combat gives clear results of winner and loser. That drives the competitiveness that adds to it even more. I mean, that’s what most games are about. Winning. Going for the Gold. Clear goals. I’m actually gonna say it: “It’s not just about the fun.”

So just put all this together and you get a very enjoyable and engaging experience. I don’t think violence in games needs to change all that much. But it’d be nice to see these “combat exchanges” in other areas. It’s just that putting up your fists or holding a gun gives immediate emotional and mental reaction. It’s hard to oppose.

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